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2012 Review in Film : Part One

December 31, 2012

In the first part of my 2012 round up, here are the worst films of the year. What's your least favourite over the past 12 months?

2012 has been a great year for film, and Movie Writing! Huge thanks goes out to everyone who reads, comments and contributes in one form of another. We couldn’t do it without you. Despite having a number of things going on that has resulted in delayed posts, our first full year operating has still been a success. So thanks you guys!

We all know how much I like lists, especially best ofs, so I can think of no better way to celebrate/commiserate the end of 2012 by looking at the best and worst of 2012! In this three-part 2012 special, we’re kicking off with the turkeys.

I saw a grand total of 79 films at the cinema this year (not including duplicates), so naturally my worst six films are numbered 74 to 79. This has really been a tough decision, as there have been so many dull, boring films this year; some that I haven’t even written about yet. Having put in some serious thought, here’s the most offensive, painful and sleep-inducing movies of 2012.

RELEASED:  February 3, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  Dennis Dugan  |  CERTIFICATE:  PG  |  RUN TIME:  91 minutes  |  CAST:  Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes

Oh, Adam Sandler. Just when we all thought your career couldn’t get any worse; Jack and Jill happened. Director Dennis Dugan continues his endless, terrible relationship with Sandler. They really outdid themselves this year, releasing two serious flops that have been panned by critics and fans alike (thankfully, I didn’t subject myself to That’s My Boy).

“Why is Jack and Jill only the sixth worst film of the year?”, I hear you ask! Despite it being terrible, embarrassing and a complete waste of time: it didn’t offend me, or send me to sleep like some of the others in this list. It has well and truly severed any affection I once had for Sandler, and made me seriously doubt the credibility of the A listers who featured as cameos. Shame on you, Pacino. Shame on you.

Read my full review of Jack and Jill here.

RELEASED:  April 20, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  Heitor Dhalia  |  CERTIFICATE:  15  |  RUN TIME:  94 minutes  |  CAST:  Amanda Seyfried, Daniel Sunjata, Jennifer Carpenter, Wes Bentley

Amanda Seyfried’s career really was in its hay-day when she made her cinematic debut in Mean Girls. Sadly, Seyfried hasn’t featured in many other films rated “fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes since. Granted, Les Misérables hasn’t been released over here yet so here’s hoping it’ll really pick up again for her. Naively, I thought Gone would be an okay Saturday night suspense thriller.

Gone is not a suspense thriller, it’s a total snooze-fest. Yes, Seyfried is believable as an unhinged, conflicted and incredibly irritating character but if Wes Bentley isn’t enough to lift this film from the worst of 2012, then being convincingly annoying is just not going to cut it.

Read my full review of Gone here.

RELEASED:  March 16, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  William Brent Bell  |  CERTIFICATE:  15  |  RUN TIME:  83 minutes  |  CAST:  Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Evan Helmuth, Suzan Crowley

I am by no means the biggest horror fan in the world, but even a wuss like me can recognise a frightening flop when I see one. Riding on the success mockumentaries such as Paranormal Activity and the fantastic REC, the found footage disaster The Devil Inside is easily one of the worst films of 2012.

A horror film devoid of scares is pretty much a failure, even before the terrible plot, effects and acting are taken into consideration. The Devil Inside lacks atmosphere, adrenaline and suspense. It also has one of the most disappointing endings I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing.

Read my full review of The Devil Inside here.

RELEASED:  March 2, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  Nima Nourizadeh  |  CERTIFICATE:  18  |  RUN TIME:  88 minutes  |  CAST:  Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Alexis Knapp

Never have I been so angry leaving a cinema than I was after Project X. I honestly didn’t think a mockumentary about a group of idiotic teenage boys throwing a house party that gets stupidly out of control would leave me feeling so enraged. Project X is the most offensive piece of cinema I’ve seen all year; not even Jackass 3D a few years ago offended me as much as this atrocity.

There are three reasons why Project X isn’t my most hated film of the year: it evoked an emotion so strong yet rarely experienced through cinema; as much as it pains me to say it, it has a good soundtrack; and it’s provided me with one of the best reviews I’ve written. I guess I should thank Nima Nourizadeh and Jonathan Kaplan for something.

Read my full review of Project X here.

RELEASED:  April 6, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  Mabrouk El Mechri  |  CERTIFICATE:  12A  |  RUN TIME:  93 minutes  |  CAST:  Henry Cavill, Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, Caroline Goodall, Rafi Gavron, Emma Hamilton, Jim Piddock, Paloma Bloyd

The Cold Light of Day disproved my theory that even a mediocre film can be improved by seeing it on a Friday or Saturday evening. It even disproved my theory that credible actors couldn’t appear in bad movies. Both Sigourney Weaver and Bruce Willis seriously went down in my estimations after seeing this dull, disappointing “drama”.

Henry Cavill’s dire performance as a grimacing, lifeless businessman seriously makes me doubt how credible he’ll be as Superman in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel. The least I can hope for is that he’ll keep those gnashers out of sight for a fraction of the film.

Read my full review of The Cold Light of Day here.

RELEASED:  August 24, 2012   |  DIRECTOR:  Paul Angunawela  |  CERTIFICATE:  15  |  RUN TIME:  85 minutes  |  CAST:  Leigh Francis, Verne Troyer, Kevin Bishop, Laura Aikman, Kelly Brook

It only took the length of the opening scene for me to decide that Keith Lemon: The Film was potentially the worst film of 2012. It has it all: failing careers, ex-reality TV “stars”, and an abundance of distasteful jokes that will fail to impress even the biggest fans of gross out comedy.

A painful, pitiful and pathetic watch for all involved; I wouldn’t suggest Keith Lemon: The Film to anyone. Not even fans of Leigh Francis’ previous work will be impressed by this cinematic tripe. I can’t even bring myself to watch him on TV anymore, for fear it will induce flashbacks of the worst film of 2012.

Read my full review of Keith Lemon: The Film here.

Look out for the next part of my review of 2012, where I take a look at the best of the year!